my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded
does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack
am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding
these are our struggles
Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
The struggles of a man
thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina
you need an award right now
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect